Enjoying People Again

[woodsy1]

Hello friends,

Today I had another good day. I am so very thankful for these. It appears I am having more of them more frequently. Yay!

I have recently gotten in the habit of walking 3 to 5 miles a day most days. Of course this helps a lot with maintaining physical and mental/emotional health. For me, it is very important that it gets me out of the house where I have self-isolated for the better part of the last 6 years.

It is still very triggering for me to interact with people. Just the same, I am finally healing enough to where I can challenge this fear. I just began something new this week that is proving helpful.

It has been raining a lot here, so I had to move to an indoor venue for my walks. The only thing that really fits the bill near me is a good sized shopping mall. The day before yesterday, I walked around the mall several laps without really interacting with anyone. Today, I pushed myself out a little further and, after taking a few laps to get my exercise and build courage, I went into shops and struck up conversations with people.

It was exciting and enjoyable. It was also triggering and so a bit uncomfortable. At times, I wanted to run out of the mall and get home as quickly as possible. But I decided to stay and talk.

People were very friendly. Of course, I was striking up conversations with sales-people, so the odds were stacked in my favor. LOL. Sales-people typically are friendly and outgoing.

I plan on doing this more! I imagine that, given time, my triggers and anxiety symptoms will either dissipate nearly completely, or I will get comfortable enough with them that I might be able to have normal interactions with people on a regular basis again.

Before my trauma, I was a very friendly and conversational person. I used to love interacting with people, and just listening to them and letting them know somebody cares. I was actually taking courses to be a counselor/therapist. That was a long time goal of mine prior to my trauma.

It is uplifting to be interacting with people again.

Thanks for letting me share my good day with you.

I hope you have as good a day as possible and an encouraging remainder of your week.

Thanks always,
Woodsy

[Nane]

Awesome, that you found a way that pushed you out of your comfort zone without being too threatening. I hope you'll be able to 'practice' some more.

[Catie]

All that exercise is great! And I love reading how you're taking your healing in hand and working a plan, with engaging people the way you did at the mall. Sounds like tremendous progress!

[woodsy1]

Thank you Nane and Catie,

I appreciate your encouraging words. I was once told an account of a couple sorts of plants. Some grow slow and steady over time. Some are secretly growing a root system and don't appear to be growing much at all above ground. Then suddenly, they shoot forth and blossom.

I think I've done a little of both types of growth. Lately my growth seems more like that latter. I spent 6 years basically dormant, hounded by fear, lost in depression, sitting in darkness, incapacitated and unable to interact with the world. Now that some of that heaviness and oppression is lifting, I am shooting forth in some areas of growth.

I yet have a LONG ways to go. I'm sure there will be days you will be encouraging me in the Cloudy Days forum. But for now, I'm enjoying the Sunny Spots and utilizing them to push for growth and take new ground.

I plan to go to the mall again today. It's a 30 minute drive for me as I live deep in the woods. The drive is a good time for me to listen to my favorite inspirational music and feel its message in my emotions. Then, of course, the walk is just helpful all around. The interaction with people is a new adventure filled with joy, anxiety, pleasure and dread. LOL. It's a strange experience to say the least.

Thanks for joining me in this journey with your friendly words. I appreciate you.

I hope you have as good a day as possible today,
Woodsy

[Catie]

I didn't realize we had left some threads unanswered, Woodsy. I hope you've been able to continue your conversation-building times at the mall. And that you're continuing to sense your own growth spurts along the way. It is so good that less depression and other symptoms have made room for you to have some new/better experiences and to spread your wings more.

[cookie]

good for you!